I believed my marriage was dead when on the same day my husband received divorce documents as a birthday gift provided by my mother-in-law in the presence of our whole family. But what Daniel took papers in the next 60 seconds changed utterly between us.
My husband is Daniel and we are in a six years old marriage. Our marriage is very strong and based on respect to one another, mutual dreams, and our love towards each other is huge.
Work stress, family drama, all the small things that come in making life together, we are with each other through all of this.
My only complain about my marriage is my mother in law Cheryl.
She never loved me, and this is evident on the very day Daniel brought me back home so that I can meet his parents. I have recollection that that was a dinner.
I wore my best dress, baked brownies as a treat and tried my hardest to do a good impression.
Well, now, says she, barely glancing at me, as she cut her pot roast up. What it is you do now?”
I said, ‘I am a graphic designer’, and I attempted to make it sound important.
“Oh.” She paused. That is transitory.
This was six years back and the attitude has not been any better.
Cheryl has never believed that her baby boy was chained by some girl, he could live at home and could bring HER belly full of money all his life. I robbed her of the content of her own precious son, as it seems in her mind that his purpose in life was to be her own armyman and her means of support emotionally.
Since day one she has been passive aggressive, condescending, and even downright rude. She continues making remarks on all aspects of my life including my cooking and my career.
She is also largely throwing statements such as why are you not settling the Daniel with real stability soon? and, (shaking your head) “Isn t that selfish, to deny his family of him?”
She actually thought that Daniel should get divorce me. She would throw hints all the time.
During family dinners she would say, “You know, Mrs. Patterson in church that got divorced last year, she is so much happier now”. Sometimes people,” she said,corecting him, “just grow apart, curse you Daniel?”
One day she remarked, I saw the loveliest girl to-day in the grocery. She is unmarried, a nurse and she is back in town. I am convinced that she would never deprive Daniel of his roots.
The thing is that my husband is not like that. Daniel has been with me all through. Not in a fierce, headlong, melodramatic way, but in this quiet dependable devotion which turns me once again into a complete fool over him.
He will redirect the topic of conversation when his mom drops her little jabs. When she says shame on you that I didn t come so often he said that we are here the next Sunday to have dinner.
He would tell me when I would complain about something new she would say, that she will come around one day. She only requires time to get adjusted to the fact that I am not her little boy anymore.
I wanted to take him at his word, yet inside I knew that things cannot get any better.
This year, we arranged a common birthday dinner of Daniel and his younger sister Emma in the house of his parents. This appeared to be the ideal family bonding.
And the entire extended family would be present. All his aunts and uncles, some of his cousins, a number of his church friends that Cheryl knew too, and even the best friend Daniel had in college, Mark, who, despite both of them living in California this time, is now a bigshot lawyer.
It will be good, said Daniel, as we dressed that night. It is just family, good food and hopefully, Mom will be in a good frame.
I wore my blue dress and the pearl necklace that Daniel had given me during our anniversary that belonged to the grandmother of his grandmother. And I even got Cheryl her favorite lemon cake at the bakery downstairs in the hope that a little treat may ease the tension.
The dinner was all right, after all.
The food was good, the flow of conversation smooth, and everybody appeared to be enjoying himself. Cheryl even seemed calm, as she talked to her sister about the possibility of the upcoming church trip away.
However, hindsight now tells me that she happened to be very silent throughout the supper.
She was eying Daniel all the time with this funny-little smile as though she had some secret we were all unaware of. It should have raised my red flag.
Once we had eaten Emma birthday cake and she had sung happy birthday, we saw Cheryl stand up and clap her hands together.
Well, said she to the room, I suppose it is time to open gifts, dont you?
They sat down in the living room and took cups of coffee and leftover cake. It was a festive atmosphere. Emma had opened her presents earlier on and now it was the turn of Daniel.
His relatives were the first to send material presents.
Next, Uncle Tom got him a good bottle of whiskey and gift card from Aunt Carol to his favorite restaurant.
After everybody had exchanged their presents Cheryl came up to her feet, with a large, glitzy envelope in her hands.
I have something in store for Daniel she said. One thing that he has long needed.
she was smiling in this way, a little self-satisfied smile it was, that I had never noticed on her before. It was not exactly her passive-aggressive smile. This was otherwise. This was satiation. Just the way my mother had been telling me months ago that this was going to happen.
Daniel saw the envelope and started smiling. “Mom, you did not need to do all that to get me something special,” he began to say, but he picked up the envelope.
Oh, no, I did, dear. It is a trusted one though.”
During gifts, Daniel always opens the envelope very carefully. He is one of those individuals who keep wrapping papers and that he reads cards twice. As he drew the papers out however his smile was gone.
I did not see what he was holding in his hands because of my sitting position but his face told me that he was confused and came to a shock after seeing something.
A silence had fallen in the room. All eyes were focusing on Daniel to see how he would behave.
Honey, what do you say? Aunt Carol begged the question.
then I spotted them. Divorce papers. Filled already with our names, address and other details.
By then my heart began thrbbing so heavily against my chest. I was not able to realize what was going on.
Did Cheryl… I thought. Or did she really give divorce papers to her son as a gift?
Every one looked at him now. At Daniel. At me. In his papers.
In the meantime Cheryl was standing smiling.
Well, thank you, sugar, she said at last. I understand that you are always busy with work and so on. You never get time to go round doing important things like this. Otherwise, this would have been done long ago by you. You can come back home now where you even belong to and take care of your nearby family.”
That is what she said. Out loud. Not only in front of his aunts and uncles, his cousins, her church friends, and Mark.
Before all who ever meant a thing to us.
I wished I could go away. It was my desire to escape out of that house never to see it ever again.
and that is when Daniel looked up, seeing papers. He stared at both the papers in his hands, then at me and then at his mother.
Then never did he do what I did not now expect.
He laughed.
One moment I believed I should have fainted with shame. My husband was even laughing with the divorce papers that were provided by his mother to terminate our marriage. I did not even know what was going on.
Relieved was he? Did this then, have been what he had been desiring?
I was almost sick; Cheryl was simply thrilled.
I am so relieved at the way you are taking this, Daniel, oh, so glad,” and she clasped her hands together. I feared your fighting me over this at first. However, deep in my heart I knew you would understand that I am right. There is nothing new in my world. I just know what is the best for that boy.
She was fairly dancing on her toes.
Next week we can begin to look at apartments with you, she went on. you can find one that is good just around the corner. Two bedrooms, so you can have space of an office. I can cook to you, every night, just as you used to grow up.”
Daniel still held the papers, and still continued to look at them with that queer expression upon his face. The laughter was ousted now, and something different was in its place.
I could observe him turn around and address his best friend Mark who was sitting on the corner chair completely gobsmacked over what he had just seen.
Mark, said Daniel more peaceably. You know what is to be done.
Hardly had Mark blinked, as it were, out of trance. Then he rose slowly, came into the room and took the papers out of the hands of Daniel.
He walked over to the fire place, without a word, and threw them into the fire.
Once more the room was hushed.
The fire took immediately. the black print dissolved as the flames licked away the master plan, I followed Cheryl till she flew a spiral out of the window, then I turned and watched those heavy white sheets curl and burn. The only sound in the whole house was the sound of the crackling fire.
It took Cheryl roughly three seconds to go triumphant, then confused and then absolutely furious.
What, what have you done?” she sputtered.
Daniel rose.
Well, Mom, I can understand that you can not treat my wife with such basic respect, that you are in. So just leave. Right now. And get your backside out of here till you can get to be a nice human being.”
Cheryl was gaping. “Excuse me? I was trying to give you a hand! I was doing you what is best!”
Not so, said Daniel, and in a louder voice. You were looking after yourself best. You want me to go and live with you once again as your own personal handyman and emotional support team.
You would like me to sacrifice my marriage, that you might have thy little boy. That is not love, Mom. That’s selfishness. And it will never take place. Ever.”
The thing was that there was no sound in the room, not even a pin drop.
Cheryl gazed and saw all the faces looking at her.
Her sister felt ashamed. Uncle Tom was nodding his head. Even her church friends had an embarrassed look.
“Fine!” she was shaking mad and took her purse off the side table. But when this falls to pieces come and tell me what a fool you are!”
She headed furiously to the front door, her heels angrily clicking on the hardwood surface. No one made any attempt to prevent her. Nobody bid a farewell.
A loud bang closed the front door that shook the windows.
Nobody stirred a moment.
After this Aunt Carol began to clap. Gradually and then increasingly. The cousins of Daniel played along.
Then Uncle Tom gave Daniel on the back and said, “Better late than never, son.”
The other evening we lingered until evening. We marked the birthday of Daniel appropriately with hilarity, tales, and family affection as we have all been lacking whenever Cheryl was in the picture.
I believe I shed a few tears in dessert. Mind you, those were glad tears.
The next morning Daniel and I both sat, hours on our couch, coffee in hand, just chatting about all that had transpired.
He kept saying, “I am sorry that I did not see it before. I am sorry what I have permitted her to do to you so long. She will never backtalk to you again. I promise.”
A few days after this, he phoned her and made clear limits.
She is currently on a what we are calling a time-out of our life until she learns to treat both of us with respect.
And to tell the truth our marriage could never be stronger.
This happens that once in a while when you are in the situation of an emergency you are told in a flash where the loyalties of people are. My husband picked me that night. It was our choice that he made. And he did that before all the people that counted.
I consider myself very much blessed to get him as my husband.
In case you enjoyed this story, then here is another one you might adore: I sat in the waiting room of the hospital waiting and getting ready to have my annual checkup with my OB-GYN, and what do I hear? A man was talking on the phone on a few seats and my heart almost stuck up when I saw him. THE husband was Jack. what was he doing there?