Just a few years ago, it was not uncommon for married couples to sleep or even sleep separately in separate beds or also separate bedrooms. Today this lopsided arrangement may seem odd to us, for most of us think of a shared bed as a cozy sign of togetherness in a marriage.
There were, however, multiple historical and cultural reasons occurring in this practice, which illuminated the changing rhythm of marriage and social order.
Modesty and Social Norms
The primary reason why married couples used to go to sleep in separate beds is tied to modesty and conformity to social norms. In the 18th and 19th century, many societies had conservative opinions about physical intimacy and they regarded the same as private. Generally speaking, couples liked to share a bed but this was often too revealing, regardless of one’s moral or personal feelings about the practice; so couples kept separate sleeping arrangements in order to safeguard the reputation of them both.
Health and Hygiene Concerns
Historically, there were genuine concerns about health and hygiene that had effect on the practice of sleeping separately. In an era when regular bathing and clean bedding were not as prevalent as they are today, there was a fear of spreading diseases or parasites through shared bedding. Sleeping separately was viewed as a way to reduce the risk of infection and promote better health.
Social Status and Space
Sleeping separately was a sign of privilege and social status in the wealthier classes. Larger homes with multiple bedrooms also allowed affluent families to have separate bedrooms for their couples. It was considered prosperous and personal space to have separate bedrooms rather than living in the same bed.
Practical Reasons
Married couples sleeping apart was also due to practical considerations. Shared beds can be a problem for snoring spouses, different sleep schedules, and restless sleepers. The opportunity of having beds or bedrooms apart from each other served to achieve good quality of sleep and reduce disturbances leading to general well-being.
Victorian Morality
During the Victorian era (19th century), so-called ‘Victorian values’ led to the further separation of married couples during the night. Among the Victorian middle and upper classes, there was sometimes the idea of ‘separate spheres’ where men worked outside the home, and women handle their domestic duties. Sleeping apart was also deemed as such a reflection of these gender roles because it kind of confirms or shows that men and women also occupy certain parts of our influence.
Changing Social Norms
Married couples sleeping apart became less common as societal conventions changed during the 20th century. The idea of sleeping in separate beds increasingly lost favor as the women’s liberation movement gained momentum and views toward intimacy changed. This transition was largely caused by a cultural shift that valued companionship and emotional connection in marriage over strict gender norms and social expectations.