My parents have invited my husband and me to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. Anyone would go, but honestly, I have mixed feelings. The main reason is my sister, Diana.
Even though we’re only two years apart, we’ve never been close. A lot of this has to do with our mother. She spent years in the military, and that mindset definitely showed in how she raised us. She was always pushing us to compete. It didn’t matter what it was—running for the school bus, doing chores—everything was a competition. It wasn’t about doing your best; it was about doing better than your sister.
Over time, things started to change. Diana began to fall behind, especially in school. I was always good with my studies, and my good grades only made things harder for her. Mom constantly compared her to me, and when Diana didn’t measure up, the punishments were harsh. There were nights she wasn’t allowed dinner or was forced to stand in a corner for hours. I could tell how much it hurt her. Mom kept using me as an example. “Look at your sister,” she’d say. “Why can’t you be more like her?”
The truth was, Diana didn’t enjoy studying. She was a playful, active kid. The constant comparisons took a toll, and she started to resent me. I can’t blame her. I hated it, too. I lived with my own pressure, terrified of failing and disappointing our mother.
Then, right before I left for college, something happened that shook our whole family. Diana took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Luckily, our parents found her in time. The doctors saved her, but that moment changed everything. For the first time, my parents realized how much pain Diana had been hiding.
After the overdose, things really changed. They started attending therapy with Diana. Since then, they’ve treated her like she was made of glass, as if any wrong word could make her break. I’ve apologized to my sister more than once for not sticking up for her more when we were younger, but even now, my parents continue to overcompensate.
Diana never went to college. She has struggled to keep a steady job. She still lives at home, doesn’t pay rent, and depends on our parents for everything. To be clear, my sister is functional. She has friends she parties with, all on our parents’ money. My parents never push her, never challenge her. They’re afraid she’ll do something drastic again, and she knows it. She uses that fear to her advantage. So, when they started asking me to send money to help with expenses, I had to refuse. I can’t subsidize my sister’s carefree life while my retired parents drain their savings.
My husband knows my whole family history. He can’t stand my sister, not just because she’s a freeloader, but because she constantly flirts with him. From the day she met him, she has been overly affectionate, making suggestive comments that are completely inappropriate. If I call her out, she just laughs it off.
What makes it worse is how my parents respond. They dismiss it as an “innocent crush.” When my husband first met them, my mom told him, “You’d actually make a much better match for Diana. You two have the same kind of humor.” My dad chimed in, agreeing. Over the years, they’ve kept bringing it up. Even on our wedding day, my mom pulled my husband aside and asked, “Are you sure you want to marry her?”
After a big fight, they promised to stop, but they never did. We eventually distanced ourselves completely, stopping all visits and attendance at family events. But now, my mother insists we attend this anniversary party. She’s invited all our extended family and doesn’t want me to miss out because people might start asking questions.
I already know what’s going to happen. My sister will be there, and neither of us wants to go.
My husband had an idea. He said if we don’t go, my parents will just invent an excuse that makes me look bad. He thinks we should go, and if my sister gets out of line, it would be the perfect opportunity to put them in their place in front of everyone. There would be no way for them to spin a different story later. I’m not saying it’s a bad plan, but it could also go horribly wrong.
Well, we decided to go.
During the event, my parents were clearly excited to see me. Everything was going relatively well until dinner. One of my aunts casually asked Diana why she was still single.
That’s when my mom, without missing a beat, said loudly, “Oh, I don’t know if she has a boyfriend, but she’s got a big crush on her sister’s husband!” She pointed to my husband and laughed like a five-year-old. My dad joined in, laughing even harder.
My aunt then turned to my husband. “Do you have any brothers or cousins Diana could date, maybe?” Some of the relatives actually laughed. My sister just stood there, blushing and smiling, enjoying the attention.
I felt the heat rising in my face, but I calmed myself. We had prepared for this. I was going to say something, and I was going to say it loud enough for everyone to hear.
I turned to my mother. “How dare you talk about my husband like this?” The whole table went silent. “You promised me, both of you, that you wouldn’t cross this line again. But here we are, laughing about my sister having a crush on my husband. You find it funny because you’re just as idiotic as she is.”
I addressed the rest of the table. “Let me ask you a question. How many of you think it’s okay for someone to openly have a crush on their own sibling’s partner, and for the whole family to laugh about it?” Suddenly, no one had an answer.
Then I turned to my sister. “You’ve been acting like a pervert towards my husband for years. You flirt with him, you send him texts late at night even though he’s asked you to stop. You touch him when he’s clearly uncomfortable, and you act like it’s all a joke.” My sister’s face fell.
I looked around the table. “And you all think this is funny?” I turned to my parents. “And you two? How many times have you said my husband and Diana would make a great couple? You even said things like that on our wedding day. Do you realize how sick that is?”
I was so mad at my aunt for going along with it. I looked her directly in the eye. “Would you ever say these kinds of things about your own daughter’s partner? Would you tell your son-in-law he’d be a better match for someone else?” She slowly shook her head. “Exactly. That’s what I damn well thought. So why is it okay when my parents do it to me?”
My dad looked like he was about to explode, but I cut him off. “Don’t you dare say a word. I think Mom and your sister seem to have excellent chemistry. Maybe they should be together, too. Just a thought. Always in jest, right?” He was furious.
My mother, on the other hand, started to panic. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” she said, her voice shaky. “It’s just an innocent crush!”
That’s when my husband, who had also practiced his part, spoke to my mother. “Oh, I get it. Since everything is a joke to you, I guess cheating on your husband years ago was just fun, too, right? I think it’s time for all of us to have a laugh.”
My mother froze, her eyes wide.
My husband continued. “I mean, I guess you also had an innocent crush on the neighbor, right? And I guess when you decided to sleep with him, it didn’t mean anything. It was just for fun, wasn’t it?”
What my husband had said was completely true. It was an ugly little secret they had kept for years. A long time ago, my mother had cheated on my father with the neighbor. When he found out, she begged him not to leave. He only stayed for my sister and me.
My mother came out of her shock and started yelling that my husband had no right to throw that in her face. My dad also defended her, calling my husband disrespectful.
But I defended my husband. “You crossed the line the moment you turned my husband into the punchline of your weird jokes. The moment you kept defending Diana like she was a harmless child when she has been making my husband uncomfortable for years. It’s pretty creepy that a big girl like Diana has a crush on her brother-in-law. She’s not a kid. She’s a damn grown, semi-functional adult who should become completely functional with a wakeup call. Maybe a kick in the pants to send her out on her own.”
My mother started crying, trying to gain sympathy. But people were still thinking about what she had said, added to the fact that she had cheated on my dad.
Finally, Diana opened her mouth, just to yell at me for ruining the party.
“You always act like you’re the victim,” I told her. “None of this would be happening if you hadn’t started it. You sat there like a seal waiting for its fish while Mom announced your crush on my husband. Are you mad at me? Well, damn right, because your anger matters less than nothing to me.”
While they kept yelling, my husband and I decided to leave. I quieted them down just long enough to say, “It’s over. Don’t you dare contact us unless you grow up and are ready to take responsibility. If that doesn’t happen, then don’t call us when one of you dies, either.” And that was that.
Family members started sending supportive messages. Even my aunt apologized. I have to admit, my husband was right. It was good to rip the band-aid off all at once.
Almost six months have passed. Despite cutting off all contact, Diana sent creepy and unsolicited love letters to my husband. Even after we threatened to involve the police, she didn’t seem to care. Then, about a month ago, my husband and I received incredible news: we’re expecting a baby. We shared the happy news on social media, which was clearly a big mistake.
Earlier this week, things took a terrifying turn. My husband got home from work to find Diana sitting on our porch, waiting for him. He immediately felt unsafe, ran back to his car, and started driving away while she ran after him, begging him to stay. He called me, and we both called the police. Since we already had reports against her for the creepy letters, it wasn’t hard to get her locked up for a few days until my parents bailed her out. Our lawyer had also filed for a restraining order, which was still being processed.
These things take time, but I promise to come back with news.
So much time has passed that we’re already parents, but I said I’d come back. Shortly after getting the restraining order, Diana tried to approach my husband again and violated it. My parents lost their bail money. Diana also lost her trial. I don’t know the exact amount my parents spent, but she didn’t have a public defender. Diana ended up serving a six-month sentence, plus mandatory court-ordered therapy.
Third, my parents have gotten divorced. My father finally found his courage and decided to leave my mother. The humiliation of everyone in town knowing he was cheated on, combined with the financial stress and public embarrassment from Diana’s behavior, was too much. My mother has taken Diana to live with her. They’ve both gone back to work because, between the legal troubles and the divorce, neither could live on savings alone.
The family has been sidelining them, not lending money, and unfriending them on social media. My father has moved out of state, while my mother has moved a few towns away since the court ordered that Diana cannot leave the state.
And sixth, nothing much, just that life is much happier. Diana might seem like a danger, but we have a restraining order and she has a record. Not even she is stupid enough to try to spend more time in prison.