It was supposed to be a pleasant evening like any other family event. Both my husband, King, and I were excited. Upon arrival, the atmosphere was warm and cheerful. Everyone was having a good time. After dinner, the atmosphere became even livelier. The adults began to drink, relax, and enjoy the evening.
As the evening progressed, my mother-in-law acted like the perfect hostess, refilling wine glasses and keeping the mood high. At one point, the music started, and some of the adults began to dance. My husband and I joined in, getting caught up in the fun. I didn’t realize my sister-in-law was right behind me.
I was moving to the music and at one point accidentally pushed her. This caused my wine glass to tip over, and before I could react, the wine spilled all over her dress. It was a total accident.
My sister-in-law let out a horrified scream, and I, too, was wearing a white dress that was now completely soaked in a deep wine-red color. I immediately began to apologize, explaining that it was an accident, but I could see she was furious. My king husband quickly grabbed some napkins and took them to his sister to try and dry up the wine.
I kept apologizing, trying to help clean up the mess. When she started yelling at me, even though it was clear she was trying to vent her frustration, she yelled, “Are you blind? You can’t see what’s going on around you. How could you be so clumsy as to spill your wine on me?” I kept apologizing over and over again, trying to make amends, while she kept telling me I was careless and stupid for ruining her dress.
Then, at one point, aided by the wine I’d had earlier, I finally replied, “I’m really sorry, but I don’t have eyes in the back of my head. How was I supposed to know you’d be right behind me like a ninja?” My king husband chuckled at my comment as we continued trying to clean her up. My words were meant as a joke to relieve some of her tension, but they had the opposite effect.
My sister-in-law stiffened visibly, but all it achieved was making her glare even more furious. The next moment, before I could even process what was happening, she slapped me hard across the face. The sound of the slap was loud enough to resonate.
My cheek was burning, so it wasn’t just a slap, it was a pretty hard one. Everyone was silent, which made it feel even worse. On top of this, my sister-in-law kept yelling, “How dare you talk back to me? I can be anywhere. You should have been more careful. I can’t believe you ruined my dress, you stupid girl.”
Do you even know how much this dress costs? Do you know the brand I’m wearing? You can’t even afford something like that. I was mortified, standing there with all eyes on us. My king husband didn’t say a word; he just stood there silently watching as his sister berated me in front of everyone. At that moment, my mother-in-law and father-in-law quickly stepped in to try to calm my sister-in-law down.
My mother-in-law tried to gently comfort her and lead her away so she wouldn’t make any more fuss, but my sister-in-law wouldn’t hear of it. Her voice rose again. “This was my favorite dress. Favorite,” she shouted, practically shaking with rage. “It’s completely ruined because of you. Do you see this stain? It won’t come out.” Then she turned her head toward me again to glare furiously.
You’re going to replace it, and I’ll make sure you pay every penny of what it costs.” His tone turned even more acidic as he added, “Although I doubt you could even afford something like that on your pathetic salary. I think that’s what hurt the most of all, because she wanted to shame me, especially on my salary.
To give some context, my sister-in-law married a wealthy man shortly after graduating from college. Her husband, significantly older than her, is 13 years her senior and about nine years older than Rey and me. He’s a professional who comes from a wealthy family, which puts her in a very comfortable financial position.
Since getting married, she’s lived a life of luxury and thinks the rest of us are poor. The most ironic thing of all is her self-identification as a traditional wife. Yes, you heard that right. She describes herself as a traditional wife.
Unlike us, she spends much of her time making TikToks about how her purpose in life is to serve her husband and prepare to be a good mother to her future children. For her, being a traditional wife is a pride she wears like a badge of honor, but she views the rest of the world and other people through a lens of privilege and arrogance.
It’s ironic because they have so much money that she doesn’t even have to do anything for her husband. The people her husband hires do it. It’s not like she waits for him with food after a day’s work. My sister-in-law’s husband, being the rich man that he is, has always given her everything she wants in life.
So, I completely understand that her dress must have been really expensive. Honestly, I felt terrible for spilling wine on it. I really was, but even though I could have been more careful, I really wonder if my mistake deserved that reaction. It justified her slapping me in the face, humiliating me in front of everyone, yelling, and insinuating that I was poor.
Although I wasn’t as rich as her husband, I was doing pretty well in life. I mean, I’m not as poor as she claims, although compared to her standard of living, anyone would be poor by her standards. I tried to tell her this, but she continued her tirade, and I felt my blood pressure rising. Her voice was getting higher and higher, and it was upsetting me. She was very close to my face, staring at her while all this was happening.
I couldn’t realize it, or I didn’t want to, but I felt my hand move before my brain could react. I slapped her back hard, so hard it rendered her completely silent. Mine was probably even worse than hers. Her cheek turned bright red.
Then I looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Would you stop yelling for a second so I can talk? I’m replacing your dress, so stop yelling about how I can’t afford this. You’ve never had to spend a dime without someone else paying for it. So who are you to call me poor?” My sister-in-law was obviously having a hard time processing what I was saying.
She looked furious, but before we could argue further, my mother-in-law pulled me away from her. “Get away from her,” she yelled as she then began scanning my sister-in-law’s face. My husband, who had remained silent during his sister’s earlier tantrum, now joined his mother and began to worry about his sister.
Both of them were suddenly filled with concern for her as they began to cry loudly, lamenting how disrespectful I was and how no one had ever slapped her before. Perhaps that was the problem. My father-in-law, visibly alarmed, ran to get ice for his face, as if I had done irreparable damage to his daughter. The way they were reacting was almost surreal.
It was as if my sister-in-law had been shot or a grenade had exploded in her face. My slap had been hard, but not that hard. The whole melodrama was overwhelming. Suddenly, my king husband turned on me. You had no right to slap my sister, he screamed. This is all your fault. All you had to do was apologize and keep your mouth shut.
Trying to defend myself, I said, we were dancing. Your sister came up behind me and I didn’t see her. Spilling my wine on her dress was an accident. I apologized over and over, but what justified her slapping me in the first place? At this point I was determined to defend myself because it was everyone against me. Before Rey could respond, my sister-in-law restarted her tirade and snapped, “How dare you slap me? Do you even know who you’re messing with? I’m going to sue you for assault. You’re going to pay for this, remember that.” Then she turned to
King yelling at her too. Shame on you. How can you not control your wife? She has no right to say anything to me after what she did. Without waiting for anyone’s response, she stormed off to the bathroom to change with my mother-in-law, following close behind to comfort her like she was her tail.
I was still standing in the center of the room, surrounded by everyone who was whispering and clearly talking about me. Somehow they saw me as the villain in this situation. That’s when Rey turned to me, frustrated and disappointed. “You need to go home,” he said. “What?” I asked why. It seemed crazy to me that he would say this. I could hardly believe my own husband was telling me to leave, in front of everyone. “You’ve done enough,” he continued.
“You made a scene, and my sister needs to calm down. She can’t do that while you’re still here,” he added. “You shouldn’t have slapped her back. In fact, you shouldn’t have done anything, no matter what she did to you. You’re older than her; you should act more mature.”
I’m sure he didn’t mean to slap you, but you made things worse by slapping him back. You only escalated the situation unnecessarily. My father-in-law intervened, nodding in agreement. “It’s best if you leave,” he ordered. “Not only were I being kicked out of the house by my in-laws, but by my own husband as well.”
I couldn’t believe I’d completely chosen his sister’s side, no matter how unfairly I’d been treated. I didn’t see the point in arguing. At that moment. I grabbed my things, quickly called an Uber, and headed home. On the drive, all I could think about was how things had gone so wrong for the night to end like this.
All I did was stand up for myself after being humiliated, slapped, and insulted. It was really so unforgivable. And why didn’t my king husband take a stand for me? I mean, I knew that for my husband, his little sister always came first. For example, when I met his family for the first time, it was at a casual lunch. I remember being nervous, but throughout the meal, my sister-in-law spent her time and energy grilling me about every detail of my life—my upbringing, my education, even my job.
It didn’t feel like a polite conversation, but more like an interrogation. I remember feeling puzzled by his intrusion. To be clear, both Rey’s family and mine come from similar socioeconomic backgrounds, and I was already working in technology, a field that paid significantly more than Rey earned in advertising.
Yet, despite all this, she acted as if I wasn’t good enough for her brother. At one point, she even outright said that Rey was a great catch and that I should be careful getting serious with anyone. And where was Rey during all this? He sat silently, of course, never once speaking up to defend me.
He just let his sister say what she said, without challenging her, as if it wasn’t his place to intervene. After that lunch, when we were alone together, I told Rey how upset I was. I explained that it wasn’t fair for his sister to treat me that way and, more importantly, that he should have stood up for me. To be fair, he apologized at the time.
He told me he hadn’t even realized what his sister’s behavior looked like and excused her by saying she was being protective of him and hadn’t heard the whole conversation because she was thinking about something else. He promised me that next time he would take a stand in my favor, but over time, his promise fell by the wayside. He only did that at the beginning. Over time, he just let it go until he returned to his normal self.
This was different, though. She’d never been physical with me before. When I got home, I waited for Rey to come back so we could talk, maybe even discuss if anything was needed to address the chaos of the night, but he never came back. Instead, in the middle of the night, I received a voicemail from him.
He told me his sister was still upset and that he, along with his mother and father, were going to take care of her. As if that wasn’t hard enough, he went on to say that most of his family believed I was wrong. And if his sister followed through with her threats to sue me for assault and emotional distress, he would have no choice but to support her because she is his family, and he didn’t stop there.
He told me that I needed to offer his sister a sincere apology, one that would calm her enough to dissuade her from following through with her legal threats. I know that many people in my position would have caved, perhaps apologized, swallowed their pride, and admitted something they didn’t believe.
All for the sake of keeping the peace or avoiding further conflict. But I couldn’t. I knew deep down in my heart that I hadn’t done anything wrong. Yes, spilling the wine had been an accident, but I had apologized repeatedly. The slap I gave my sister-in-law wasn’t gratuitous; it was a reaction to being humiliated, insulted, and physically assaulted in front of everyone.
If anyone should have apologized, it was her. She had slapped me first. She had escalated the situation because she’s entitled. She knew that if she went ahead with a lawsuit, she wouldn’t have a solid case.
Her claims of emotional distress were, at best, palpable given the circumstances. It was obvious that her threats were nothing more than a power play, a way to force me to beg for her forgiveness to soothe her wounded ego. But what hurt me most wasn’t my sister-in-law’s actions—her king. Throughout this ordeal, she demonstrated where her loyalties truly lay: to her family, not to me.
The fact that she could so easily take his side, even after everything she’d endured, spoke volumes. Not once did she ask if I was okay. She didn’t seek me out or offer any comfort. Instead, she spent the night blaming me for everything, as if I was the sole cause of the chaos that night.
As I listened to his message, I realized something painful, but necessary. This wasn’t just a problem with his sister or his family; it was a problem with him, with our relationship. So the next morning, when I woke up and my husband still hadn’t come home, I decided to pack my things and leave the house without notes, without explanations.
By the time Rey finally returned home and discovered I was gone, I figured he must have been shocked because my phone started ringing with his calls. I answered, and he demanded to know where I was. There was no concern in his voice, not a hint of distress or sadness—he was just angry. He yelled about how he didn’t expect to come home to an empty house, and he was furious that I’d left with all my things.
Then, as if to justify his anger, he proudly announced that he had worked very hard to convince his sister to return to our house with him. His grand plan was for her to receive a face-to-face apology from me so the whole situation could be resolved.
I couldn’t help but let out a sarcastic laugh. Staying calm, I told him I was going to my parents’ house and made it clear I had no intention of returning anytime soon, as I had a lot on my mind. I also made it very clear that I wouldn’t apologize to his sister for something that wasn’t my fault.
However, I added that if his sister wanted to apologize to me for her behavior, I would be more than willing to hear her out. This wasn’t what I expected to hear. He argued that as his wife, I couldn’t just walk away like that. He called me rude, inconsiderate, and demanded that I return home immediately, but I told him no. I also let him know that if his sister wanted to follow through with her empty threats to sue me, she was more than welcome to try.
I assured him that I wouldn’t be intimidated by his insults, words so ugly and hurtful that I don’t even want to repeat them here. So I’m currently at my parents’ house. I’ve told them what happened to me. My dad is completely on my side and has even scolded Rey for not standing up for me. However, my mom believes I shouldn’t have left my husband’s side without speaking to him first and that communication is key to resolving our issues.
So Reddit, I’m the bad guy. Update. Today I looked up the price of the dress online and sent the money to my sister-in-law. I hope this puts an end to her complaints about the dress. I know many of you didn’t want me to pay her, but I don’t want to owe her anything. I ruined her dress and I always intended to make it up to her. It’s what good people do, and it’s what I like to do.
I even made up for the slap, too. I’d like to clarify a few things that have come up repeatedly in the comments. First, as a woman, I know when another woman is deliberately trying to upset me. My sister-in-law has always had this inexplicable need to compete with me from the very beginning.
Although I’ve never seen her as competition, it’s clear she’s jealous of me for some reason, though I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. If I had to guess, it might be the fact that I’ve built a successful life and career for myself. Unlike her, I didn’t marry a rich man to afford nice things or a comfortable life.
All my life I’ve worked hard to achieve everything I have, and I imagine this financial independence is something she resents. My sister-in-law married a wealthy man and seems completely dependent on him for her life. Although her husband gives her everything, he’s also somewhat controlling.
Since he’s much older than her, she’s complained to us in the past that he doesn’t allow her to go out with her friends much or wear certain clothes he doesn’t like. However, I don’t feel sorry for her at all. This is the life she chose for herself. She likes to boast about her lavish lifestyle, constantly reminding us how privileged she is.
She brags about her vacations to exotic locations, the designer clothes and handbags she buys, or how she doesn’t have to worry about working because her husband takes care of everything. She spends all day lounging by the pool, getting her nails done, or doing Pilates. So, I don’t understand why she resents me or sees me as competition when this is the life she’s always wanted.
Secondly, my sister-in-law’s husband wasn’t present at dinner that night. He usually never attends any of our family events because he’s too busy working. Plus, the few times I’ve met him, he’s very level-headed. So I’m sure that if he had been present, my sister-in-law would never have slapped me.
He would never have allowed her to throw a tantrum like that, as he cares deeply about his image in front of others. Finally, after reading hundreds of comments on my post, I can’t help but agree with everyone. My husband has always been a manipulator.
For years, I wore rose-colored glasses, choosing to overlook the patterns that have always been there. The truth is, he has consistently supported his family over me, and I have allowed myself to believe that this is how things should be. Take Christmas and New Year’s, for example. We have always celebrated those holidays with his family year after year, despite my repeated requests to alternate and spend those important holidays with my family.
He’s always manipulated me by saying that his family comes first. Every time I bring it up, he insists that as a good daughter-in-law, I must compromise and prioritize his family over my own. I always feel like my needs, my family, and my traditions don’t matter as much as his in those moments. I’ve always felt guilty for wanting something different. I also blame myself for how things have turned out.
I now realize that I’ve allowed my husband to dictate my life for a long time. His lack of consideration for my feelings, coupled with his subtle manipulation, has always kept me in a place of doubt. I’ve always questioned myself, wondering if maybe I was being too demanding or unreasonable, but I’m glad I came to Reddit with my story. Everyone here has finally opened my eyes to the truth.
Finally, the reason my mother is somewhat on my husband’s side is because she believes I shouldn’t allow such a minor issue as my sister-in-law being rude or toxic to interfere with my marriage. She clearly doesn’t understand how deep this issue runs or how much it has affected me.
He doesn’t see how my husband’s behavior has worn me down over time. However, he acknowledges that my sister-in-law slapping me was completely wrong. Update two. King me, we finally had a face-to-face conversation in a neutral location, away from home, just so we could talk everything through clearly.
It’s been almost two weeks since my last update, and I decided I finally needed to address things with him. When we met, Rey started by apologizing. It took me by surprise because I honestly didn’t expect him to apologize. He told me how happy he was that I had paid his sister the money for the dress. This was exactly what I had been waiting for: a genuine acknowledgment of the situation.
But of course, Grey immediately followed up by saying that it was now my turn to apologize to his family. He explained that he still owed his sister an apology for humiliating her in front of everyone. He told me how his mother and sister had basically threatened to cut him out of the family unless he made me apologize to her.
I looked at him in astonishment and asked, “What about when she slapped me first?” He was going to apologize to me for that. Then he tried to justify his behavior by saying that his sister was a little drunk and that seeing me spill red wine on her had made her aggressive.
She argued that anyone in her sister’s position would have reacted the same way and that I should have simply stayed quiet and accepted her reaction. At that point, I had to stop and take a deep breath. I didn’t know if I was more hurt or angry at how little she seemed to understand what I’d been through.
I then told him that although I regretted slapping his sister because I don’t like violence, I wasn’t sorry for standing up for myself. I wished he’d stood up for me in front of his family, but he didn’t, so I had no choice but to defend myself. Maybe if he’d done the right thing, it wouldn’t have come to that.
But his repeated failure to stand up for me and his willingness to allow his sister to treat me like garbage made me realize something very important. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t respect me. I then listed every instance his family had misbehaved with me over the years and how each of those moments had made me feel.
I told him that as my husband, if he wasn’t even brave enough to stand up to his bratty sister, then I didn’t see the point in continuing our relationship. Rey argued that he loved his family and didn’t like confronting them, especially his precious sister.
He pointed out that I was his wife, so I felt I could understand why it was important for him to keep the peace. I told him that being his wife didn’t mean I was obligated to endure disrespect or mistreatment. Every time he remained silent, I felt like he was choosing his family over me, and I was tired of coming second in my own marriage.
As if this weren’t enough, Rey also informed me how her mother had basically disinvited me from all future family events at her house, as she didn’t want me around them. When I was shocked, Rey argued that this was fine because I didn’t like her family anyway.
He told me that from now on, at Christmas or New Year’s, I was free to spend time with my own family, just like I’d always wanted, while he would be with his own. I laughed in disbelief at how selfish he sounded, at the audacity he had to ignore my feelings and try to manipulate me once again. At the time, I told him I’d been thinking about a decision for several days, but after talking with him, everything had become completely clear.
I wanted to divorce him. I was fed up with this marriage. His face immediately fell, and he looked like he couldn’t believe what I had just said. He argued that I wasn’t thinking this through and was just speaking out of anger. Then he said, “Okay, okay, you don’t have to talk about divorce. If you don’t want to apologize to my sister, I’ll talk to her and convince her to let it go this time, since you’re so set on this. But next time, don’t slap my sister again.”
I told him, “I don’t care about any of that anymore, King. It’s over. My lawyer will be in touch with you soon. You’re now free to spend the rest of your life taking care of your mother and sister the way you’ve always wanted.” King tried to argue further, but I just stood up and left him standing there. I couldn’t be in a relationship where I wasn’t valued, where my feelings didn’t matter, and where his family always came before our marriage.
Since then, Rey has been sending me voicemails, begging me not to go through with the divorce. He keeps telling me I’m destroying our marriage and that he wants to share the rest of his life with me. I’ve muted his messages for now and will continue to ignore him in the future. Update three.
My mother-in-law has been texting me persistently since I met with my husband a few days ago and asked for a divorce. She claims I don’t have the right to simply leave her son and, according to her, I’m making him suffer unnecessarily just out of spite. She firmly believes I should fix things by moving back in with my husband, even if I’m unhappy in the marriage, and by apologizing to my sister-in-law immediately. So today I sent her this message.
Margaret, I’ve already met with a lawyer, so this divorce is going to happen, whether you like it or not. Just a heads-up, I’m more than capable of exposing you and your spoiled daughter on social media now that I don’t care about your family anymore. You and your daughter have done nothing but harass me this entire marriage, and I have the screenshots to prove it, so don’t test me.
Your son is going to be alone now because of you. I hope the next time he brings a woman home, you’ll think twice before treating her like garbage. Since I sent this message, my mother-in-law has read it, but she hasn’t had the courage to reply. I guess she finally realized I’m not playing around.
As for my sister-in-law, she’s blocked, so she can’t even contact me. Update four. With the divorce finalized a couple of months ago and now officially away from that family of lunatics, I can tell you more about them. First off, I should say that my ex-brother-in-law helped me with my ex-sister-in-law.
Upon learning about the whole affair, he told her he wouldn’t give her any money to sue me and that she couldn’t use any of his lawyers, who were busy with more serious matters. He also told her she should apologize to me, but that’s something she hasn’t done. However, he did apologize to me on behalf of his wife, sending me a Christmas basket with various products and a handwritten card.
Telling me all this, the last thing I heard from them was that they were now living separately because my sister-in-law continues this behavior. According to her card, this behavior, at least the violent one, has appeared recently because she wanted to be a mother and hadn’t been able to get pregnant. They tried for a year and were willing to try new methods, but she was overwhelmed with frustration. She also slapped him.
Some time after the party I told you about, a spy center employee exhibited this type of behavior for a while. That’s why he moved into an apartment they have in the city while she stayed at home. My ex-husband told me this last thing at one of our divorce hearings.
He wanted to seek some kind of sympathy for his sister, as if the fact that she was suffering justified her actions. But she was unpleasant before, and many people suffer problems without treating the rest of humanity badly. So no, I don’t feel any sympathy.